(Photo by Cat Gwynn. Los Angeles, 2017.)
Finally, radiation.
I’d had my lumpectomy, done tons of chemo, and now was looking at 33 rounds of radiation— five days a week, for the next few months—the last part of my treatment protocol.
I chose a facility close to my home. It was a mile each way, so I figured I’d get some exercise and could make photos along the way.
I started observing all of the people I passed on my daily walk to treatment. We all seemed so different when really, at our core, we’re all the same.
I often think about how we often go through life making snap judgments and assumptions. Perhaps it’s a way we distance ourselves from taking in the deeper truth of what another person’s life might hold...what our own life might hold.
The folks I photograph did not necessarily know I was going through cancer. I certainly did not know what they were going through.
But we all have a story.
One day on my walk, I crossed paths with a hardcore gangbanger. He had this stunning tattoo on the back of his bald head. I wanted to photograph him so badly, but you can’t just ask a gangbanger if you can take his picture. Then I thought, why not? You’re overcoming cancer. Just ask.
I approached him. He was a bit guarded. He shot me a daring look, like, “You wanna take my picture?”
I took off my hat.
His eyes widened when he saw my bald head and he said, “Oh…” Then, he softened and gently nodded “yes.”
He walked a little further up the street and stopped at an entrance to a building. I looked up to see these ceiling beams above him. They seemed to be spreading out from his head... like this radiance of spirit.
Asking to be seen, and subsequently someone giving you permission to see them can be an uncomfortable proposition, but setting mistrust aside clears fertile ground for breaking through stereotypes; it allows us to see one another honestly. In this moment, we were there, together, our hearts were connecting, and there was an energy that flowed between us...life force.
22 more rounds of radiation to go.
I decided that every day I would stop at that building and make a portrait of whoever showed up. I met many lovely people there, under those radiant beams.
The angels.
The empathy we reflected to one another bore witness to all the joys and sorrows of living.
ABOUT
Cat Gwynn was educated in photography, film, and fine arts at Otis-Parsons Art Institute, and has completed numerous master workshops with such esteemed artists as Mary Ellen Mark, Joel Peter Witkin, and Barbara Kruger. Her artwork is collected and exhibited in international galleries and museums including the Lishui Museum of Photography in China, The Drawing Center in New York City, the Orange County Center for Contemporary Art, and is sold through the Susan Spiritus Gallery. She has lectured at numerous institutions including Otis College of Art and Design, New York University, Art Center College of Design, and Harvard Medical School.
Cat’s images have appeared on the cover of Artweek, and in numerous other publications including Artforum, Newsweek, and Texas Monthly. She is also a seasoned lifestyle and portrait photographer whose images have sold through Corbis and Getty Images for nearly twenty years. In addition, Cat has gifted her talents photographing pediatric patients for Flashes of Hope, a volunteer organization focused solely on funding research for children’s cancer.
On May 4, 2013, Cat found a sizable lump in her right breast. Ten days later the acclaimed photographer was diagnosed with Triple Negative breast cancer – a disease longed feared. As the treatment protocol intensified, her immune system became more compromised, requiring limited expose to the world around her. Cat mapped it out: her day-to-day existence was reduced to about a ten-mile radius. Surrendering to this confined reality, Cat decided to engage in a daily practice of seeking out images with her camera that would connect her to the immediacy of life.
Her critically acclaimed photo memoir, “10-Mile Radius: Reframing Life on the Path Through Cancer” was released in the fall of 2017 by Rare Bird Books. She is currently at work on her next photo book project, “Cry For Me”, where she captures the raw power of authentic masculine emotion in intimate black and white portraits, giving the viewer an opportunity to witness these men in the genuine strength of their vulnerability.